Lately, it feels like a lot has been going on with my day job, my side gig, my sick dog, staying on top of my health, planning a wedding, thinking about buying a house, and of course, money. Anxiety and I go way back…actually, my whole life. Yep, even at birth—I apparently arrived already a little ball of nerves. I’ve had panic attacks that seemed to appear out of nowhere, and I used to walk around feeling like I was carrying the whole world on my shoulders, convinced that something was really, really off with me.
I did all the things you’re supposed to do to turn a frown upside down, as they say. I exercised, picked up hobbies, tried to get good sleep—but nothing really stuck. I’ve had some very dark days where I honestly didn’t want to be here anymore. Meds? I felt like I’d tried them all, and instead of helping, they just seemed to make everything worse.
It wasn’t until my 30s, when I ditched all the meds—including birth control—to let my body reset, that I finally started to feel calm. Like, wait…were my hormones the drama this whole time?
Now that I’m in my 40s, I’ve learned to slow down, actually take vacations, and build in more rest. And it worked—for a while I felt lighter, more relaxed, like I could finally exhale.
Lately though, I can feel that old anxiety trying to sneak back in, and I’m so over it. I’m not letting it steal the spotlight without a fight this time.
Advice to those who suffer: keep pushing your doctors to help you find what works for you. You gotta advocate for yourself. Try all the different things to just keep moving and don’t give up.
Kinda Everything: Daily Life + Design 
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